My husband and I were opened in Subud Toronto in 1966 and have been active members ever since. When we joined Subud (as a result of reading Bennett's Concerning Subud) we believed that we were starting a spiritual practice that had no guru and no teaching. Although we have both been helpers (and my husband still is) we have always felt a tension between that promised guru-less Subud and Subud as it has evolved. Since I am basically a skeptic, I find it difficult to feel part of a community where belief, and in fact a very precise set of particular beliefs, is the norm. I write in the hope that my minority views will be better understood and perhaps even accepted.
Bridging the Divide pdf, html
This article looks at how Subud is divided by conflicting attitudes towards the role of Bapak and considers how we might begin to allay the fears and defuse the tensions on both sides.
Redefining Success pdf, html
This article looks at the grand vision predicting vast success for Subud, and how that grand vision may have distracted us from achieving the kind of success that is within our grasp.
The Case for Not Having Helpers pdf, html
This article examines the helper's role and considers how we could organize ourselves differently.
Testing the Committe pdf, html
Four authors argue that we should change the way we elect the committee. Jointly authored with Michael Irwin, Sahlan Diver and David Week.
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The Problems with Enterprises pdf, html
The author looks at all the aspects of the enterprise concept that have bothered her over the years.
The Role of the Subud Press pdf, html
First published in 1998. I leave it to the reader to judge whether we have made any progress since then towards a more open, honest, and normal functioning of the press in Subud.
On Judging pdf, html
How our propensity to judge each other undermines our real purpose.
How Not to Be a Cult pdf, html
Most cults are not intended, not planned; they grow.
Will the Real Bapak Please Stand Up pdf, html
Who was Bapak? The question matters, even if it is unanswerable.
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