God’s Teeth

 

Five Poems and a Chuckle by Stefan Freedman

 

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His Bad Side

 

Ours is The One Way

There’s no other Truth

Just decoys and traps

 

The prize is

Rapturous heaven

Way-hay

 

While you lot are,

You know,

Stir-fried forever

 

Well, you know what God’s like.

You really don’t want to get on

His Bad Side

 

God’s Year Off

 

When God went on Sabbatical

All the faithful

Took a break

From praying,

From believing

 

Religious wars

Fizzled out

The whole human family

Gazed amazed

At a peaceful world

 

Then someone yelled

‘Watch out

Here comes the substitute’

She looked aged and tired

Not much of a God, really

 

But reluctantly

We all slouched back home

To pick up our weapons

 

 

 

Good Heavens

 

In heaven

We’ll take no gender benders

No tree huggers or save-the-sardiners

No freaky, frilly, peace peddlers

 

And they won’t let you in either

You lily livered liberal

Sharing your slice of wholemeal vegan quiche

Sipping an organic chamomile infusion

 

I guarantee we’ll be normal

Right thinking

Every one

 

And just in case

I’m bringing my gun

 

 

The Higher the Fewer

 

Ours is The One Truth

But surely you see

Your faction is losing the plot

 

It’s no disgrace, friend,

Look, even my congregation

Mostly get tangled up in details

Missing the whole point

 

To be honest there are only

Three of us here

Who really get it

 

And the other two, bless them,

Are obsessive old fossils

Who no longer know

What month it is

 

Which leaves

Only

 

Me

 

Welcome to the Spiritual Helpline

 

If you’re a Subud member hold on

while we test which service you need

 

If you’re in crisis get over here

and join the party

 

If you’re into enlightenment hang up

and you will become non-attached

 

If you’re into Astral Travel, thank you

for having a low carbon footprint

 

If you’re RC you need to know:

it is all your fault!

 

If you’re an Atheist, God help you

 

If you’re a Rabbi carefully remove

a small portion of your phone

 

If you’re Satan will you

please stop gloating

 

If you’re God, don’t give up on parenting

— and better luck next time!

 

Just Here

 

Just here

Within the noise

— a silence

Within the pain

— a balm

 

Just here

God who abandons

Our lives

To wolves of hazard

Picks up

All the broken remains

And holds them

Close to her bosom

 

Just here

Within the noise

— stillness

Within the pain

— release

 

Delicious

As a lover’s kiss

Familiar

As my right hand

Vast

As the ocean

 

For here

Between breath and skin

There is no

Division