The most recent postings are reprinted below, with links to the pages they come from.

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From Lydia Burton, January 5, 2016. Time 16:39

I'm not sure who is reading this, but if Leonard or Rosalind
hello from Lydia! Long time no see. I just stumbled upon your site recently. Also found subudconscience. Much to ponder. love, Lydia

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From ehhe, September 23, 2015. Time 4:15

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From Phillip Jones, September 22, 2015. Time 18:35

Let me introduce myself. I was opened in 1986 in Auckland, NZ. I discovered SUBUD through an acting tutor. In my early years (as far back as I can remember) I was angry with God for sending me to this world. I used to berate God (God is not a 'he' by the way, so stop using 'Him' as an official title as it belittles and denigrates the female aspect) and scream at God like a spoilt little child who can't get his way. God, very rightly, ignored me. So I took it on myself to send myself back, God be damned I thought. I am my own master and I decide what happens, not God. I will not go into the details of my suicide (I was 19 at the time and not a member of SUBUD) but needless to say I left my body with great jubilation and the knowledge that I will not have to live with the lower forces that embrace most of the beings on this planet. What ugly creatures humans were to me back then. I travelled in what felt like an upward direction in a shaft of light. There were faces (ancestors or past lives maybe) screaming at me to go back but I was free and nothing was going to send me back. All of a sudden my ascending stopped and I looked up to see a cosmic sized foot blocking my way. I knew it was God's foot. I swore at the foot, tried to beat it, called it all the terrible names I could muster so it would get out of my way. Then I heard a voice (this is the only time in my life I have ever heard a voice speak in my head), it said 'Now is not the time.' I cannot describe this voice as there are no words to explain the power of it. I still argued and berated it but the voice kept saying its only line: 'Now is not the time'. I told God I would wait forever as I would not go back there. Eventually my Father woke me up to go to work and I realised I had returned to, what for me, was Hell. God sent me back because I had not learnt to be humble and as hard as it was for me to accept I eventually did and realised it was not my decision as to when I leave this life. At the age of 26 I found SUBUD. It seemed to me that these people were like me, having a direct experience of God and needing it as much as food and water. But, alas, I came across people who were still searching with their mind and unable to shut it down to exprience God directly. The so called 'Helpers' were mostly a hindrance to the contact as they put 'rules' around behaviour and 'Testing' etc. What a joke I found them to be in the main. The latihan itself was an extension of my own receiving before I was (sic) 'opened' and still is to this day. In the last 30 years I have had very little to do with the SUBUD organisation and feel let down by it. I am always amazed how little some members have progressed and yet these are the ones who want to tie the experience down to earthly matters and dogmatise the experience. Maybe if they shouted at God a bit more and stopped pontificating and quoting Bapak then God would listen to them. At least God would know they truly believe and want the contact more than anything else. I tell this story only to explain that the latihan is only an extension of one's own personal God experience and was there before you joined SUBUD. Bapak showed you the way to open up but not many have taken it. Peace and Love to you all and may God bless you with a deep and personal understanding of the soul and it's never ending journey back to the source.

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From Eleana Pawl, September 22, 2015. Time 18:3

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From neil payne, April 18, 2015. Time 6:0

interested in your article

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From Michael Casanova, October 9, 2014. Time 1:54

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From SaiftheKnife, October 8, 2014. Time 21:13

Thanks for your very helpful feed back, Leonard. I don't remember having secret meetings with helpers about you at all when we all lived together in the area. I do not remember participating in any secret meetings at all.
If others hurt your life in any way, I apologize on behalf of those who did, even though I am no longer an active helper in SUBUD.

Saiful Rimkeit
San Jose, CA

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From SaiftheKnife, October 8, 2014. Time 20:52

Hey guys,

How does nearly of any of your feedback contribute to solving what Sandra wrote about? Except for the first letter. But even that one had no answer -- just a comparative reflection of past SUBUD experiences to show that Sandra is not alone in leaving the SUBUD organization. Michael's entry is helpful: From Michael Irwin, October 7, 2010. Time 0:6. If we at least adhered even part time to these principles, not as much damage would be generated in SUBUD by its participants. The fact that this has taken place, this back and forth conversation, is exactly one of the points Sandra mentioned in the letter she wrote. We tend to drift from the original point of problems mentioned which need to be solved and deal with it by only contributing our own views to the dilemma at hand and leaving the problem "there". Touche.In the letter Sandra wrote, the main reason for meeting together was shelved by a helper (no less). I remember that gathering. I thought from the beginning that there was something wrong with it and I did not want to attend it. As long as this happens, also as reflected in this brief forum, SUBUD in it's original form will perish and continue, as Bapak predicted, morphed into a Religion.
I mean, some your statements are very helpful and quite clear to help one see how some organizations such as SUBUD should function, but not much of any help was written to help solve issues written and addressed by Sandra. As usual, even though we address the situation of curtailing our egos, our egos prevailed nonetheless and only dealt with what we wanted to address anyway.

Saiful Rimkeit
San Jose, CA
Opened in San Fran, CA 1968

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From Sahlan Diver, August 31, 2014. Time 15:53


Thank you for the feedback.

It was easy with the dual benefit of hindsight and of Luthfi O'Meagher's excellent analysis on which I based my article, to come to conclusions as to what went wrong, but at the time I would have probably sided with the testing.

It was a very conflicting period with one set of people wanting the members who had invested to have a more democratic say in the running of the place, another set wanting it left to the people with business expertise, and another set wanting guidance to take a part. Worse than using the testing and then bungling it, was the extent to which testing and vague kejiwaan talk was used to manipulate situations according to people's fears and desires and self-interest, without regard to common-sense, good old-fashioned business ethics and the warnings of independent experts.

I don't use Facebook but I will send you my email address,

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From Sahlan Diver, August 19, 2014. Time 19:38


This year, 2014, is seeing the formation of new independent latihan associations concentrating on the latihan alone, without attached dogma. To be clear, that means practitioners are free to attach their own belief systems, but, unlike Subud, the new organisations do not sponsor any particular officially approved belief system or teachings, including Pak Subuh's.

There is AIR in Essex, England and AIM in Hawaii. We hear tentative news of some other groups that may be forming. There will also be a Virtual Latihan Association, with a skype-like video conferencing facility, for people to do latihan (and optionally testing) at the same time as each other, regardless of location - the technical work on that is ongoing at the moment.


Sahlan Diver

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From Lusana Erekson, July 2, 2014. Time 21:18

I am trying to reach Leonard Priestly by email or by phone, can you please send me his contact? I am a helper in Subud.
Kindest Thanks,
Lusana Erekson, San Diego 619 296 0466

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From Sahlan Diver, March 24, 2014. Time 19:28

Yes. That's the wonderful thing about Subud. You don't need to be a BSc, you don't need be a poet, you don't need to have any abilities. In fact, you don't even need to possess any spiritual understanding. Because all you need to do is say "Maybe you will understand the spiritual realm one day, as I do" and bingo! Instant spiritual status! You can award yourself any spiritual level you want and you are not required to justify your claims.

And even when what is being questioned in Subud is not a spiritual matter, you can say "everything in Subud is spiritual", to avoid having to answer the question.

It's the perfect system for dealing with all the difficulties of life. I can understand its appeal.

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